About The Ex's

[MotherBoard]

Do you let the Ex's come into your home?

How does that all work?

How does your New partner handle it?

[Bluemoon]

Gee whiz , Mom! How did your thread get ignored!
Well, I'll give it a go, even though most already know.
My X and I live 10 hours apart.
My son see's his Dad a couple weeks in the summer (we meet halfway for the exchange) and maybe one week during the school year.
Yes, I would let him in my house (though I'd hide my jewelry), in fact I have offered him my house to use for him and his new wife, if only he would come here to visit his son during the winter. I would go stay with a (female) friend for a week or so. But his new wife will not even consider doing this. She tries hard to do well by my son, but has little tolerence for my existance.
I do not have a new partner now, but for the brief time I did, he was pretty much indifferent to my X...and to me too, now that I think about it.

[idig]

Off the top of my head I can't think of many of us regulars whose ex's are in the picture or close enough to come in our homes.....

My bff's ex comes to her house for dinner occasionally. Her husband and ex get along pretty well. It is a good situation for the kids, to see them getting along for the kids.

During the time I was married before the ex's ex checked out of the girl's lives, she was welcome in my home. Found out years later my then husband, her ex was welcome in her home too. Only when her husband wasn't home and I didn't know about it. Nice, huh?

[muskiedad]

Ummmm.....after my ex left I would let her in, even if i was not here. Then I noticed things missing.....furniture put back the way she wanted it......etc. I had to put a stop to it. I would rather see her face steaming up the glass on the front door from the outside, than to have to listen to her rant and rave inside.

[alexmichele07]

I hang out with one of my ex's regularly. Every other weekend actually. He also knows he's welcome in my home anytime. And I go to his or his mom's house sometimes on the alternate weekends.

I'm not in a relationship, though, so there isn't anyone to tell me that's not appropriate. But quite honestly, I wouldn't care. This arrangement works and it's what's best for all the kids (his and mine - between the 2 of us, we have 5) at this time. If I was dating someone who decided he had a problem with it, I'd show him to the door. The kids are my priority.

[mykidisfirst]

Nope! Not in my house. Since my episode with the F off email from his girlfriend, he will have to walk 2 flights of stairs at 7:00 am in the morning to come get my son from me when I take him to his apartment on Sunday mornings. I use to take my son to the door. Now I would not want his new girlfriend to feel like I am harassing her. I have to do this at 7:00 am, because when we first got separated he would show up to my house late when I needed to be at work at 8:00. So now my son has to be up( really I carry him to the car asleep) at 6:30am in the mornings so he can get there by 7:00 am for visitation.

[LSL]

No way would I let my ex come in my house, let alone 10 feet around me.

However, strangely enough, a really good friend of mine has two kids from a prior marriage. She is now remarried with a blended family. Both her and her new husband gave keys to their house to their ex's. In fact, they all hang out together. Weird, huh? They all just agree they are better friends then lovers. Works for them.

Definately would NOT work for me.

[SingleMomSM]

At first, I did let my ex in the house. However, for me my son was LITTLE, like 1-2 years, so taking him out and about was difficult and I preferred him to be in the house any way. I even allowed my ex to room with us when he was not able to keep the place he was renting. He stayed with us for about 9 months, and we had an issue so I asked him to leave. I would still allow him in the house, but strict rules apply and right now it is mostly because I cannot trust him to take my son anywhere and I do not have any legal reason that I have to let him...

Oh and the new partner...he is very supportive of however I need to handle it...

[Deeplus2]

It is interesting to hear how people handle this differently.

I used to let my EX come in, heck he used to just walk in. Then that started rubbing me the wrong way..him acting like he lived there..Would come in (not knock), go to the fridge and get cheese, flop down on MY couch and just hang out! WTF?? But just recently when I realized he was eating more out of my fridge than me and the kids..UHH...GET OUT!

Now my kids have a key to their dad's house..And I do go in when him or the GF are not there when I NEED to..to wake kids up, or look for something they need to take with them..but I don't DO anything besides our business while I am there. Though I almost hate walking in because everything that is there was once OURS..

[Jessi Joy]

I don't think it's apprpriate for my ex to be inside my home. My home is my sanctuary, I don't want any negativity inside here!! Luckily he lives far away so I doubt he'll ever be here anyway.

Now, this is a blended family thread, so I will say that my new husbands ex wife will also never be allowed inside my home. I would not allow it, and my husband wouldn't want her here either.

[Aarondud]

I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority here, but my ex and I have pretty stable parenting relationship. She’s welcome in my home and I’m welcome in hers, which is a good feeling for the kids I think. I don’t have trust issues with her though, so I’m lucky in that regard.

[confused1996]

My ex use to drive by all the time to make sure I didnt have a guy over. One time a friend of mine was over he didnt reconize her new vehicle and came banging on the door at 12 midnight that was interesting. If I had not locked the door I know he would have came in. He also broke in a few times to see if there was anything in the mini home that he wanted. His reasoning was that he couldnt find something and thought he had left it at my house. NOT So no my ex is not allowed in my house if Im not home. My son knows this but when I was home his father had just walked in so Im not sure his father listens to my son about not going in the house.
Now that he is married he is not allowed to pick up my son without her with him so he doesnt get out of the vehicle much anymore. Im ok with that.
As for any new bf dont have one so not an issue. When I was with my last serious bf he was not happy at all with my exs additude he didnt like him going into the house even though I pointed out that his ex did the same he wouldnt admit it he say she knows she is not welcome. Like she cared. She just picked up the kids and dropped them off when she knew he would not be there and would make herself comfortable. I caught her once because neither the kids nor her realized I was home and I came out of the bathroom and she was in the livingroom making herself at home.
I didnt much like it but she was the kids mother.

[annasmomma]

My ex has a key to my house and is welcome to come in if he needs to. He is respectful and always calls me first. My bf lives with myself and daughter and they are cordial.

[Dad1st4boys]

It's still to early. I maybe could see it in a year or two if she stabaleizes from her depression and Narississum. Clinicily dianoised (we really need a spell checker. That was one thing my ex was good at.)

[idig]

Dad, if your spelling bothers you, you can download Firefox and use it instead of internet explorer. It has a built in spellcheck for everything you type! Good stuff, I like it much better.

http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/personal.html

[Dad1st4boys]

I just get in a hurry. My spelling is ok. I gives me something to laugh about. I need to laugh more.

---------- Post added at 07:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:58 PM ----------

Thank you very much though. It was thoughtful of you.

[idig]

It doesn't bother me, but I have kind of gotten addicted to Firefox and it's spellcheck Though I go too fast and still miss stuff anyway too.........

[LSL]

I am a recent firefox convert and LOVE it---for more reasons then the spellcheck.

[SandSMom28]

For obvious reasons I wouldn't trust DD2's dad in and out of my house but he has yet to want to visit anyways other than the one visit after his prison release, as for DD1's dad we practically live together, he has a key and I don't mind when he ins or outs because we have a good communication/respect thing going. If I tell him that I'm having company he keeps his distance but if it's mutual friends then it's okay. He spends nights on my sofa couch when or falls asleep in my gaming chair on evenings I ask him over if Im sick and he is not busy or I am not working and bored. We have recently come to a Mon, Thur, Fri, Sun agreement to try and distance ourselves some b/c we spend way too much time together and both need room to grow and so DD1 is not confused. I hope one day me and DD2's dad can come to some agreement as well but don't ever see it happening.

[FlyingDevildog]

In a word.... NO
If she ever tried. I'd shoot her.
But like Dad said, it's too early and the way she has been acting, it proably never happen.
maybe that is harsh, but thats the way I feel.

Dawg

[MotherBoard]

Blended Forum for People that have a partner living with them.

[FlyingDevildog]

I did earlier, but that didn't work out.
the GF movied on.

[MotherBoard]

Originally Posted by FlyingDevildog

I did earlier, but that didn't work out.
the GF movied on.

See you should had been here so we could be supportive.

[Dad1st4boys]

With the point of Blended/Stp family the short and long answer is no. My house will be my castle for My Lady and I, kids are welcome, but ex's will not be, to weird, no trust.

[Borealis]

My ex, J, is welcome in my home. Cmon-her daughters live here and she'll always be their mom, warts and all. For a time she wasn't welcome though. She ransacked the place and got way deep into my private affairs. I was violated and that took about two years to resolve/overcome. Now our trust is restored to a professional level. She stayed here with our daughters while I was gone on an emergency for a couple weeks. She sometimes, rarely gets unexpectedly surprised if I have company My boundary is you're welcome to drop in unannounced but if you don't want to be surprised, call first. And like most savvy women her radar is excellent. I'm grateful for our relationship now and it is good for our girls to see.

[justi03]

When i was still with exbf exh was allowed to come in. Not really to hang out all night. But my son would want to show him new toys etc. Xh new wife wasn't allowed even on my property. She tried to start a fight with me in front of my son, calling me all sorts of pleasant names So we told her she was not welcome there anymore.
Thankfully now living 250mls away so don't have to deal with her. But even now ex is still allowed to come in my home if he wants to drive up here. He's been offered that if he wants extra visits he can come up here and stay here.