Court

[FlyingDevildog]

Will I have my court date today.
I guess all things being as they where it went as will as it could.
"She" provde for me that I was not in violation of the divorce dec.
and "She" was found in Contempt, but no fine and no time in jail.
So WTF, it is only a write up in the court files.
and I only have about 3 months left before the youngest turn 18.
so the chance of me seeing them later is slim.
I so understand why some men turn to violence.
with the way the courts run now a days. there really is no justice for men.

they (the court system) should think about this.
If you take away a reason for a man to be who he is and then has nothing to lose.
then whats to stop him, when he feels he has nothing to lose by doing violence?

hmmmmm something to think about.

Dawg

[YJL279]

I'm sorry Dog, I know you were hoping for more.

[MotherBoard]

Originally Posted by FlyingDevildog

Will I have my court date today.
I guess all things being as they where it went as will as it could.
"She" provde for me that I was not in violation of the divorce dec.
and "She" was found in Contempt, but no fine and no time in jail.
So WTF, it is only a write up in the court files.
and I only have about 3 months left before the youngest turn 18.
so the chance of me seeing them later is slim.
I so understand why some men turn to violence.
with the way the courts run now a days. there really is no justice for men.

they (the court system) should think about this.
If you take away a reason for a man to be who he is and then has nothing to lose.
then whats to stop him, when he feels he has nothing to lose by doing violence?

hmmmmm something to think about.

Dawg

I agree, I think that is why the term " To Bobbit" someone has stuck in our culture too.

---------- Post added at 02:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:51 PM ----------

At lest when they turn 18 you will not have to deal with the Ex and you can have a normal relationship with your child.

[Dad1st4boys]

Sorry Dawg, Time will tell the trust. Their is a Higher Court and we all will have to answer for our actions.

[Christy2000]

Hey I agree I just came back from court with a huge lawyer bill at least I'm fianallty getting child support, doesn't matter the damage that has been done, or the lies with fake receipts, I'm just glad I have custudy and my family...if he feels good he's screwed the system & not wanting to provide or be in the childs life as a positive role model thats something he has to live with

[FlyingDevildog]

Hey Dad
your a fine up standing LEO.
Tell me this if you will please.
"Can the police search a house/room when the homeowner/parent is not home and NOT tell them that they did"?

Dawg

[LSL]

Was there a warrent? Did anyone give them permission to search, if yes, who? And did they live there?

[FlyingDevildog]

Originally Posted by LSL

Was there a warrent? Did anyone give them permission to search, if yes, who? And did they live there?

1. no warrent
2. youngest sons let in
3. I was at work
4. boys don't live here, just visit

[Dad1st4boys]

Originally Posted by LSL

Was there a warrent? Did anyone give them permission to search, if yes, who? And did they live there?

As LSL is pointing out more information is needed to make that call. There could be circumstances, however, just based on the little information you gave, I would have some strong concerns.

[LSL]

Originally Posted by FlyingDevildog

1. no warrent
2. youngest sons let in
3. I was at work
4. boys don't live here, just visit

Then, if a son let the police in, yes that was a legal search on the federal level. Unless there is something more protective within your state constitution, someone that has a right to be in the home, has the right to authorize a search. Depending on the age, an argument could be made that the son did not understand he had the right to say no, and whatever was found could be suppressed.

[FlyingDevildog]

ok
july 4 "She" picks up boys early, no reason given.
I file complaint with meteator, and with police (visitation interfereanct)
july 10 "She" no shows with boys again, I file with police again
July 17 again "She" no shows, I file with police again
later I'm told that "She" lawyer says that that law doesn't aply to me
????
police drop case
I file contempt on her.
"She" served in Oct.
first court date is in Dec.
"She" lawyer says she needs more time, gets 21 days
next court date is Feb 8.
I'm handed a police report dated july 12 stating that the boys called police at 0040 on july 12 about loaded gun in house.
police come, boys let in, take police to my bedroom and unlock my bedroom door an let police in.
police search room and find my gun. take pictures, of what I don't know.
boys hand police divorce degree, police read it.
police rule that I was not in violation of degree.
Mom picks boys up and leaves.

I never knew they were even in the house, police never said that they were in the house when talking with me about "She" not bring the boys to visit.

this report is what help me prove that "She" was in contempt, but it was "She" who tryed to use it ageinst me.

so... "Can the police search you home when your not home and not tell you about it.
I know that it's ok if the boys let them in, but to not tell me later that they did this is just not right.

and yes My lawyer is looking into what I can do about it.

Dawg

[LSL]

They have no obligation to tell you unless they found something. There was no forceable entry. They were there on a call by your sons with concerns about a loaded gun. They had probable cause, based on the facts that you just gave, to enter. They found nothing. They don't have to inform.........there is SC percident for this.

---------- Post added at 01:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:54 PM ----------

A bigger issue is how did they get into a locked room? How did your son have the key when there was a gun in the house? And, your bone to pick is with the ex, more than just contempt, but with parental alienation and harassment.

[FlyingDevildog]

Originally Posted by LSL

They have no obligation to tell you unless they found something. There was no forceable entry. They were there on a call by your sons with concerns about a loaded gun. They had probable cause, based on the facts that you just gave, to enter. They found nothing. They don't have to inform.........there is SC percident for this.

---------- Post added at 01:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:54 PM ----------

A bigger issue is how did they get into a locked room? How did your son have the key when there was a gun in the house? And, your bone to pick is with the ex, more than just contempt, but with parental alienation and harassment.

we are looking into the problem with the Ex,
but I still feel that the police should still tell me that they were there and why.
as for the kids getting in to a locked room, "She" told them the combonation to the lock on the door.
if it is true that the police don't have to tell the homeowner that they where there.... well that is just going to lower how I feel to the police (nothing personal Dad) and make it al the more hard for me to trust them again.

Dawg

[LSL]

That's not the police's issue, take it up with your legislature. That derives from the laws and lawmakers.

[Dad1st4boys]

Dawg I do understand, that's one reason I did not go to work for Chicago PD. As for advising the owner/person living there, our police is we do let them. As for the issue of a loaded gun.....well, I'd be in big trouble .
We have a shotgun ready for coyotes as well and several other ready weapons. My boys are well trained. Both in shooting and safe handleing

[LSL]

Originally Posted by Dad1st4boys

Dawg I do understand, that's one reason I did not go to work for Chicago PD. As for advising the owner/person living there, our police is we do let them. As for the issue of a loaded gun.....well, I'd be in big trouble .
We have a shotgun ready for coyotes as well and several other ready weapons. My boys are well trained. Both in shooting and safe handleing

there is a real cultural difference between having a loaded gun in rural Kansas, and having a loaded gun in a city! Your boys have been handling guns since they were young. Keeping a loaded gun is not against the law, per se. However, it can go towards parental judgment when kids are left alone in a house unsupervised. We have all heard the story of the teenage kid that took his dad's gun to show his buddies and accidentally shot the friend to death. It happens.

Not sure the ages of FDD's sons. I have an 11 year old girl. I don't lock my bedroom door, but I do have a gun safe, where my guns are kept. She does not know the combination to the lock. No one has the combo but me.

As I see this particular situation is this: boys called police, police came and searched. Police were invited in and used their given investigatory powers. In a case like this, the police may well have assumed that the kids would tell FDD of what happened. Are we sure that the police did not leave a card with one of the boys and the boys did not turn it over, or the ex instructed the boys not to tell dad about the police because nothing came of it?

My problem would clearly be with the ex. She put the boys up to calling, gave them a combination they did NOT have, and then deliberately withheld the boys without cause. The blame is laid at her feet, not at the police who were doing their job.

[Bluemoon]

Originally Posted by LSL

there is a real cultural difference between having a loaded gun in rural Kansas, and having a loaded gun in a city! Your boys have been handling guns since they were young. Keeping a loaded gun is not against the law, per se. However, it can go towards parental judgment when kids are left alone in a house unsupervised. We have all heard the story of the teenage kid that took his dad's gun to show his buddies and accidentally shot the friend to death. It happens.

Not sure the ages of FDD's sons. I have an 11 year old girl. I don't lock my bedroom door, but I do have a gun safe, where my guns are kept. She does not know the combination to the lock. No one has the combo but me.

As I see this particular situation is this: boys called police, police came and searched. Police were invited in and used their given investigatory powers. In a case like this, the police may well have assumed that the kids would tell FDD of what happened. Are we sure that the police did not leave a card with one of the boys and the boys did not turn it over, or the ex instructed the boys not to tell dad about the police because nothing came of it?

My problem would clearly be with the ex. She put the boys up to calling, gave them a combination they did NOT have, and then deliberately withheld the boys without cause. The blame is laid at her feet, not at the police who were doing their job.

LSL, you read my mind....

[littlefoot_223]

i agree with the above!

[Bubba'sDad]

wth does the ex have the combination?

[Dad1st4boys]

Originally Posted by Bubba'sDad

wth does the ex have the combination?

And how did she get it?

[confused1996]

Thats a good question Bd. I do second Lisa on the it the ex not the cops fault. Man she is diffently a piece of work. She gave the kids the combo giving them access to the gun. grr

[Bluemoon]

Originally Posted by confused1996

Thats a good question Bd. I do second Lisa on the it the ex not the cops fault. Man she is diffently a piece of work. She gave the kids the combo giving them access to the gun. grr

And she may have done so before the cops were there. How's she so sure they will wait for them? Deffinately a dangerous game being played.

[mykidisfirst]

Originally Posted by FlyingDevildog

ok
july 4 "She" picks up boys early, no reason given.
I file complaint with meteator, and with police (visitation interfereanct)
july 10 "She" no shows with boys again, I file with police again
July 17 again "She" no shows, I file with police again
later I'm told that "She" lawyer says that that law doesn't aply to me
????
police drop case
I file contempt on her.
"She" served in Oct.
first court date is in Dec.
"She" lawyer says she needs more time, gets 21 days
next court date is Feb 8.
I'm handed a police report dated july 12 stating that the boys called police at 0040 on july 12 about loaded gun in house.
police come, boys let in, take police to my bedroom and unlock my bedroom door an let police in.
police search room and find my gun. take pictures, of what I don't know.
boys hand police divorce degree, police read it.
police rule that I was not in violation of degree.
Mom picks boys up and leaves.

I never knew they were even in the house, police never said that they were in the house when talking with me about "She" not bring the boys to visit.

this report is what help me prove that "She" was in contempt, but it was "She" who tryed to use it ageinst me.

so... "Can the police search you home when your not home and not tell you about it.
I know that it's ok if the boys let them in, but to not tell me later that they did this is just not right.

and yes My lawyer is looking into what I can do about it.

Dawg

I know exactly how you feel Dawg- That is very similar to the situation I was in when my ex was convicted of a felony and on probation and I did not know about it. I found out right before he was taking my 2 year old son out of the state. I flipped out because noone told me he was on probation. In Florida it is not against the law not to tell the other parent that a person has been put on probation or is in prison. Well, I did just what Lisa said. I am having that changed 2 years later several senators state reps and some volunteer time at children's week we are changing that here in Florida. Hopefully the Children of Incarcerated parents law will pass in both the House and the Senate and will be made a law on July 10th of this year.. (Bills 185 and 404 if anyone in Florida want to phone there reps to ask them to vote for the bills). This will help some parents in a lot of ways. Quite a few of the parents I have met on the computer have found out they have ex's on probation and go directly to the probation officer with CS orders and are requesting they make thier parolees pay the cs . That is a condition of most probations (abide by all court orders).

[Bluemoon]

Originally Posted by mykidisfirst

I know exactly how you feel Dawg- That is very similar to the situation I was in when my ex was convicted of a felony and on probation and I did not know about it. I found out right before he was taking my 2 year old son out of the state. I flipped out because noone told me he was on probation. In Florida it is not against the law not to tell the other parent that a person has been put on probation or is in prison. Well, I did just what Lisa said. I am having that changed 2 years later several senators state reps and some volunteer time at children's week we are changing that here in Florida. Hopefully the Children of Incarcerated parents law will pass in both the House and the Senate and will be made a law on July 10th of this year.. (Bills 185 and 404 if anyone in Florida want to phone there reps to ask them to vote for the bills). This will help some parents in a lot of ways. Quite a few of the parents I have met on the computer have found out they have ex's on probation and go directly to the probation officer with CS orders and are requesting they make thier parolees pay the cs . That is a condition of most probations (abide by all court orders).

My folks are in FL....I will ride Dad's butt on this.....Thanks for the info.

[FlyingDevildog]

Originally Posted by LSL

there is a real cultural difference between having a loaded gun in rural Kansas, and having a loaded gun in a city! Your boys have been handling guns since they were young. Keeping a loaded gun is not against the law, per se. However, it can go towards parental judgment when kids are left alone in a house unsupervised. We have all heard the story of the teenage kid that took his dad's gun to show his buddies and accidentally shot the friend to death. It happens.

Not sure the ages of FDD's sons. I have an 11 year old girl. I don't lock my bedroom door, but I do have a gun safe, where my guns are kept. She does not know the combination to the lock. No one has the combo but me.

As I see this particular situation is this: boys called police, police came and searched. Police were invited in and used their given investigatory powers. In a case like this, the police may well have assumed that the kids would tell FDD of what happened. Are we sure that the police did not leave a card with one of the boys and the boys did not turn it over, or the ex instructed the boys not to tell dad about the police because nothing came of it?

My problem would clearly be with the ex. She put the boys up to calling, gave them a combination they did NOT have, and then deliberately withheld the boys without cause. The blame is laid at her feet, not at the police who were doing their job.

First I don't live in Chicago, just north of it in Lake County.
second "She" was to bring the boys for the weekend, drop off on Friday, Didn't, then shows up Sat. night after I'm gone to work with boys and then they call while I'm at work.
Third "She" had combo. to bedroom because it was our bedroom when we were married. I haven't change it because I forgot how and don't have the money for a new door.
fourth Boys are 17 and they too have been trained on how to handle firearms.

whether or not the police should have told me, they didn't. I feel it's just pisspoor work on their part to just leave it up to the boys to tell me.

I also see that I'm talking to the wrong group here. I have seen first hand that if you leave your safety up to the police then you are dead. taking away poeples guns does not make one safe. teaching, training on how to use a gun does. A gun is nothing more than a tool, and how you use that tool well deturmen if it's used safely or not. How many poeple are killed by a hammer to the head or killed by a knife, yet there are no laws on these tools.

sorry While I see that this is again an Ex problem, I also see that the police did drop the ball and I will hold them acountable also.

and if the courts would do there job and hold everyone acountable and apply the law equilly to all them this may not have happen, but they don't.

Guns don't kill, Poeple do.
a gun will do nothing, until someone makes it.

and yes I beleave that an armed socility is a polite socility.
your highest crime rate is in places with the most restrictive gun laws.

but the thing is I didn't break any laws. "She" has, yet the police are helping her? WTF

Dawg

[Bluemoon]

I don't see where anybody is challenging a persons right to have a gun here, far from it, just saying that it was really poor judgement for you X to allow the kids access to it when they were unsupervised. It was locked up for a reason, she removed that precaution.
I can't imagine what she hoped to accomplish or even why the police came unless it was to accertain that you had a permit to have it.
Yeah, you should have been informed, but we don't know that they didn't attempt to do so. If the boys are old enough that they didn't have a problem with them having access to a loaded gun, then they are old enough to be expected to relay this information, or maybe your X was in contact during this mess and she told them she would inform you.
I'm assuming the police didn't know this was all a contrived event designed to hurt you in some way...though again, I don't see what she was hoping to accomplish.

Also, the cultural difference is where Dad, for instance, has shotguns, etc. for hunting and yes, protection from dangerous intruders of all kinds. Guns are a daily part of life for them and always have been. It's different than keeping a loaded hand gun for the sole purpose of self protection.
No one is saying there is anything wrong with keeping a gun for that purpose, just that it's not the same thing.

[idig]

Don't know why you think anybody here is anti-gun. I own a handgun, so do others here. My son has been taught to shoot, to respect weapons as both my daughters were.

There are bad cops just as there are bad people, there are huge gaps in the system - no question. Getting a chip on ones shoulder doesn't help though, getting proactive like mykidisfirst can. A chip might just bury a person, at the very least makes their life a lot harder than it has to be. It sure doesn't hurt the ones it is against, only the one carrying it.

My hope for you is some peace. My hope for you is that you and your kids have the opportunity to heal from whatever has happened between you - caused by her or however. Sorry you have this pain.

[LSL]

I was talking to two of my fellow students the other day.....we were discussing whether the police had to inform. They don't. Should they? Probably would be good policy to do so. But likely because they came and saw two 17 year olds they figured they would tell you. Who knows....the point is while I would prefer the police inform, you had two almost adults in the home, old enough to communicate the issue with you.

I think I said in my post that I own guns......I have no issue with that. Sounds like the ex was trying to make one.

Personally, I still say that the ex was the one with the problem. You can go ahead and fight the police, but it's a losing issue. They were doing their jobs. The were called with a safety issue, they responded, they investigated, and found no cause. Heck, be mad at your kids for letting them in! They didn't have to. Police can't go in a house without clear probable cause, or by invitation, or by warrant. They were given clear invitation.

I can understand that this is another step, another reason to be mad at your ex. I feel for you. But you are misplacing your anger on this one. AND, it is a losing proposition to think you are going to hold them accountable for something there is no accountability to be held for.

[FlyingDevildog]

Yes the Ex is trying to hurt me and it seams she is using the police to do it.
The police could have save a lot of time by calling me at work (the boys told them that I was at work and where) so why didn't they? I don't know and yes "She" was waiting outside when all this was going on. says so in the report that she picked them up right after the police made their report on it.
and did they check to see if I had a report on her for not bring the boys by earlier? nope.
anyway I maybe crazy, but I'm not stupid (well I did marry her, but thats another story)

Dawg

[Bluemoon]

Have you had an opportunity to ask your boys about this yet? It's just so obviously futile for her to have done this, unless she was trying to maybe make a case for why she withholds the children.
I also agree that they should have called you at work and asked you about the gun. I'm surprised they didn't, but again, your X could have said anything to them that may have made it seem unneccessary.
In any case, fighting with them over it will just get you pegged as a pita by them. The most I would do would be to tell them the story for the purpose of letting them know that they were used and having a record of it in case she tries something else.

[Dad1st4boys]

I wonder what she reported to cause the search.

Just to go to the house and have two 17 year olds and do a knock and talk. Iffy at best, unless there is a written statement supporting criminal activity.

Dawg. we can only operate on the information we have at that time. We do find more information later, but it's to late to change.

Dawg there are some good civil right lawyers in your area. I would talk with them. Even though there has not been any charges, there may or may not be a Constitutional question here.

I don't see the right of self defense in question here. I see the question is why was a search conducted and was it within the bounds of the 4th and the amendments.

I'm not a lawyer and none of this is meant to be legal advise, nor and I an IL Peace Officer so I don't know the policies and procedures of the local LEO agencies.

[FlyingDevildog]

Thanks all
I have cooled off now.
and I will look into the civil-rights this too.
the LEO's here are not the brightest. sorry DAD
just need to remember to think before opening mouth.

Dawg

[Dad1st4boys]

Dawg, No offense taken, Chi town Cops are notoriously under trained and hired under some of the lowest standards in the nation.

I thought of working there years ago, but I thought better of it.

[FlyingDevildog]

well I got to talk to the fine LEO's here in Round Lake Beach.
all I can say is God Help Us.
the Sgt. that I talked to said that the officer that took the report should have told me, Why he didn't he did not know, but they(the police) wont let me talk to or ask him why.
Do I smell a cover-up?
anyway they are saying that the States Attorny says it's a civil matter not crimanil.
So they wont do anything now. they wont even take a report from me stating that "She" is still not bring the boys by as ordered by the courts.
So I guess I am going to have to find a civil rights lawyer now and sue the police.
I am so tired of this atatude the police here have that it's the mans fault and that they must protect the woman, even when you show that she is in the wrong.

if I had done what "She" did, I would be in jail or died. thats a fact.

Dawg

[LSL]

Good luck.......but I am telling you there is not much of anything to sue for with the police. "She" is the one that you need to be suing for instigating a false report, parental alienation, withholding the children, and harassment.

[OhioMomof2]

Sorry Dawg,

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

Hugs
Ohio Mom

[FlyingDevildog]

Originally Posted by LSL

Good luck.......but I am telling you there is not much of anything to sue for with the police. "She" is the one that you need to be suing for instigating a false report, parental alienation, withholding the children, and harassment.

I hear you Ms LSL, but you need to have something to lose. and "She" has nothing right now for me to get. so if I did, all "She" would do is file bankrupisy and keep on thuming her nose at me and the system.

if your going to sue, you need to find the deep pockets. and that is not her.

---------- Post added at 04:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:49 PM ----------

Originally Posted by OhioMomof2

Sorry Dawg,

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

Hugs
Ohio Mom

Thank you very much.
I need them.

[FlyingDevildog]

Hmmmmmmm
I think "She" has found this forum.

I guess I need to be good now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHA

[Bubba'sDad]

Is that the theme of today?

[FlyingDevildog]

not sure about whats going on here.
just got off the phone with my lawyer.
some of the things he was asking about where about things said here.
nothing wrong, just telling me to be good and to watch my self.

Dawg

[Dad1st4boys]

I've been looking at what I've written and do not see where I am wrong. She could hack in and change things, but that could be proven in court.

[Borealis]

This is a good reminder to us all. My trust was tested here this morning. I can only imagine what doubts any new members might be experiencing. Last year after an accident I made some very pointed posts on a trade forum. Management was in quite a stir about it. I voluntarliy identified myself to them. Yeah, it was me, I made those posts. So we ended up agreeing to disagree. And I was not disciplined because what I said was true and I didn't slander or malign anyone or the company. Point being that it is like here a public forum. Trust and accountablilty are utmost imo. Whatever psudonym we have as a handle I personally have to believe that there's a real person behind that and it's the person I've come to know and befriend here. I'm not gonna shirk or shrink from trolls. Please lets ensure that our private passwords are private.

[FlyingDevildog]

Not sure if "She" has join or not.
just that I was asked about some of the posts that I have made here.
which is why I use "She" or She who must not be named in refering to the Ex and not her name.
and that is why I use the name "Dawg" on here. Now if I was ever to meet any of the fine, nice people here I will tell you my real name.
I'm just playing safe for now.
Dawg

[Bubba'sDad]

I just figured you smelled bad.

[StrongMama]

I've been a bit nervous to post too much about 'my story' on this site for fear of being tracked down and documented. And now I've seen two cases on here (FDD & Sands) within a week! :-) My son's SD and his GF (whom I like to refer to as the Busdriver) are the worst. The volumes of paperwork submitted during our court case took a wheeled cart to get to the judge's chambers. At one point he was even illegally recording our conversations (and to this day I'm sure the Busdriver is on the other end of the phone when we speak). Anyway, he is no longer allowed to email or snail mail me - ever - and he is limited to a once a month, 15 min phone call to ask questions about our son. Otherwise, we speak through our attorneys.

Btw, I could never understand the whole documentation thing anyway, in particular with email. Maybe LSL, you can shed some legal light here. I'm in the tech business, emails can easily be altered. A judge would have to see network date/time stamps & a snapshot of the email content in order to prove not only send/receive but editing, and even then, there is always the possibility of hacking (emails and websites). From my personal experience, SD's 'documentation' backfired against him. Still, I feel technology burned and, as a result, I am fairly cautious now.

Even now, I can't even pass gas without him documenting it and raising an issue...or requesting an air quality report because he feels the air is detrimental (key legal word: detrimental) to my son's health. LOL!!!

Crappy way to live but I do find humor in it (some days).

[FlyingDevildog]

Hey Ms Strong
I would say put your mind at rest.
For I don't think that "She" will join in because I was here first and I feel that I have made some good friends here. and it is with you too. You are here and the Ex and the busdriver are not and if they ever do show up and start trouble here, they had better look out. I've seen the people here go after people that are out to hurt one of the menbers here.
The whole documentation thing can work both ways, it will help or hurt depending on how you bring it up and why.
just thinking that if you have the most, that you win is wrong and doesn't work.
I have had to document every thing that I did with my boys and for the most part it worked. but I didn't go hog wild with it ether. and "She" hasn't but when she tryed it showed that I was doing what I was suppost to. go figure any way.
Tell your story. if you need to change places, names. they are not all that important anyway. just the fact that you are telling your story and you are among friends.

ok now for the fun stuff.
Hows the weather there? seen any good movies?
come on, us lonely dogs need to live though someone else now.

Dawg

[Bluemoon]

Hi StrongMama,
You have some valid concerns...to a point.
If you don't post anything that identifies "them" or yourself...like names, etc. and no names of towns, etc. Honestly, it would be very hard for anything said here to be used in a court proceeding even if he recognized himself in the story, few scenario's here are truely unique.
Also, we have the recreational area which is not open to visitors. He would have to join and post support for a significant amount of time before he could see anything you wrote in there.
By all means, be careful...and my confidence was also shook by recent events...but really, unless he knew your screen name it would be quite a tedious task for him to find himself in here. There is a fair turnover of threads. I sometimes have a challenge finding my own old ones, and I know what I'm looking for!

[Alejandra]

My suspicious little self isn't even entirely convinced that recent events weren't staged. But then, that may just be my overactive imagination. Hard to say...

[LSL]

Originally Posted by Alejandra

My suspicious little self isn't even entirely convinced that recent events weren't staged. But then, that may just be my overactive imagination. Hard to say...

I concur........

Strongmama: You certainly can share. I would recommend not using names and specific towns............

Legal documents vary per jurisdiction. My advice to you, keep a copy of every email sent and received for yourself too...........you can present the emails as well. Then it becomes an issue of credibility, meaning who does the judge find more believable?

Here is where it can come back to bite you in the but: if what you publish makes someone easily identifiable, and in doing so, it is untruthful and causes the other party to be damaged in some way. This is slander/libel. Especially since it is being published on this board.

Now, there are ways to safeguard on here a bit. You have to be a member the forum to access the lounge area. Mom has the ability to track an IP address if you suspect you are being "watched" by someone on here. You would need the member name, but it can be done.

Print outs from a forum are not reliable evidence UNLESS Mom was subpoenaed and provided the records. Because basically, anyone with a computer and pictures, can pretend to be anyone, at anytime, on any forum. If the records are subpoenaed, and Mom sent them, then they are rebuttably presumed to be reliable.

[Mommyofone]

I hate how u can't seem to have privacy to vent with friends and have to worry if someone is stalking ur every comment.