The one who ended it

[keepsmiling]

So I guess this is a selfish post but here goes:
I ended my marriage. It was not fun and I derived no pleasure from it. But still I am the bad guy. Even my family has taken my ex's side. But I did not do anything wrong.
Why am I the bad guy? Should I be doing something to turn people's opinion around? Or should I just worry about how I feel about myself?

[Borealis]

IMO only you can answer these questions because you lived the experience. Was their abuse, affairs, addictions, neglect, etc? Anything can be justified but those are universally recognized. I think it's important to be the best you can be for yourself and your child. Your child will need solid love and assurances. Welcome to sfv.

[Bluemoon]

I can relate to those feelings. Like Borealis said, only you know why things went the way they did, but I can't imagine taking on the role of single parent unless there was a darn good reason. I don't think you should waste effort trying to change other people's opinions, these things tend to work themselves out over time. Not saying you shouldn't talk about it when appropriate, but for the most part just be the best you that you can be.

[comingup4air]

Why did you end your marriage? Fall out of love? Did you have an affair or anything that would give family/friends 'ammunition' to take sides? If not, then maybe it's gonna just take everyone time to get used to the change and end of your marriage.

[LSL]

Curious here too.........hard to tell you whether you should try and turn an opinion around really, until one knows the facts. If you feel out of love, but have kids and are still being there for the kids 100%, I can see where someone would be upset with you and maybe side with the kids, but once they know you are going to do the right thing by your kids, it should ease up. However, if you just ended things, your kids are in horrible pain, and you are off finding yourself with no thought to your wife or children------forget about it. There is no way you will win people's opinions around.

So I guess, you are asking too broad of an inquiry to be able to get a good answer.

[Bluemoon]

I admit, I was assuming Keepsmiling is a woman. Though it really doesn't matter in terms of the question...
I checked, she is.

[LSL]

Originally Posted by Bluemoon

I admit, I was assuming Keepsmiling is a woman. Though it really doesn't matter in terms of the question...
I checked, she is.

......sorry. I saw, "I am the bad guy." and made an assumption.............oops. Doesn't matter, my assumption is basically the same. Except now with the kids.....cuz now I wonder if she is keeping the kids away from dad, or left the kids behind.

[comingup4air]

I thought we were talking to a GUY, too!!! I guess cuz she used the phrase...I'm the bad guy.

[confused1996]

good one girls . I agree though to broad a topic. We need more information to be able to give any good advice. Male or female it all depends on the circumstances.

[Dad1st4boys]

Many here know my situation. It just hit me that I am somewhat bitter, still. But I will not comment without knowing more.

[TXLady]

Just keep to the "high road" and people will eventually come around.