http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/ Single moms support stop. Come in, grab you java and make some single mother friends. All R welcome! en Tue, 07 Sep 2010 15:52:14 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/ http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17171&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 04:44:46 GMT Hello all, I am a single mom with one 6year old daughter. I would love to meet some other single parents that live in my area. I'm finding it tough to any social life these days, since we do not have our families in this country. I am looking for play dates for my daughter.
I'm sure there has to be others in the same boat as me. I live in piscataway, new jersy. Anyone else on here from around there ? ]]> Single Moms singmom http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17171 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17169&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:00:45 GMT She spent the weekend with her dad for the first time in a month. She's hid her feelings so much over the months about what her family is going through, but today it was just too much. He walked out the door and she burst into tears. I think the longer it's been going on and the longer he stays away, the more of a reality it's become for her, and the harder it is. Part of me is glad she's FINALLY letting her feelings out- she hides so much behind jokes. I know I've done the right thing by separating. But I just hate that it's so hard on her. ]]> Single Moms Mama Swan http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17169 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17118&goto=newpost Wed, 01 Sep 2010 02:51:45 GMT Hi everyone, I need advice and to vent. As some know my ex not only left but has started a realationship with my now ex best friend who just happens... Hi everyone, I need advice and to vent. As some know my ex not only left but has started a realationship with my now ex best friend who just happens to live across the street from me as well.

I find myself thinking of the 2 of them alot and I hate that about myself. Some days are better than others but this continues to be a very hard struggle for me. I don't understand who they are and how either of them could do this to our family? He is turning into someone I feel like I never even knew......He isn't really seeing the kids anymore he has turned his phone off and wont answer my calls or theirs.

I hate how easy it is for him to move on while I feel stuck trying to mend not only my heart and life but my kids while his new gf is right across the street. Everytime she leaves I wonder has she gone to be with him? WTF do I care. I want to be so over the 2 of them and I am in counseling on meds and just over all trying but I hate the pain I feel.

I have just begun court processes but I can't stand how he has just walked away and feels he has no need to help support these children emotionally or financially. I don't want to be a angry and bitter person... How do I get through all this betrayl hurt lies and change? ]]> Single Moms gem20kbb http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17118 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17115&goto=newpost Tue, 31 Aug 2010 21:54:46 GMT I had the first round of the new chemo last wednesday. The doctor did not say much to me, just verified that the lump under my arm is gone. I have... I had the first round of the new chemo last wednesday. The doctor did not say much to me, just verified that the lump under my arm is gone. I have had some muscle pain my legs with this chemo, but still no nausea. Three more rounds to go, then surgery. Thanks everyone for thinking about me, keep up the prayers, they are working! ]]> Single Moms YJL279 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17115 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17096&goto=newpost Sun, 29 Aug 2010 16:14:26 GMT I'm not sure where to start here. I guess I should give alittle background on me and my ex before the divorce. We were together for almost 13 years and married for 10 of those. He cheated the entire time but stupid me never realized it. He asked for a divorce in October of last year and his new son was born in January of this year. Yes he got her pregnant while we were married but he also got her pregnant on my birthday.

Fast forward to now. I have tried everything to try and be friends with him for the kids sake. I have bitten my tongue so many times there is a permanent hole in it. About two months ago he shows up to take my son to a ball game, my son wanted to go but just wanted it to be him and daddy and not daddy's new girlfriend so I told my ex as politely as possible that he should spend some time with just our son. He agreed then when he shows up to drop him off after the game he has her with him. I had never met her before and the divorce had only been final for like two days, once again I bit my tongue and waited until later to say something, which went in one ear and out the other. Then he decides a couple of days later to take my son to the movies. I had errands to run so he asked if he could stay at the house while I ran the errands until the movie started. I agreed and told him to let my dog in before he left. I even called twice to make sure he let the dog in. I show up an hour later with my daughter who goes out in the back yard and finds the dog dead from a heat stroke. I got upset and called him and started yelling. When he brings my son home he hands me fifty bucks and tells me to go get something nice for her grave. I got mad all over again. He keeps pulling stupid stunts like these and doesn't realize how it makes anyone else feel, me and the kids.

I guess what i'm trying to figure out is what do I do? Talking doesn't help, he never listened while we were married so why listen now. How much do I have to take before he grows up and starts thinking of someone other than himself. I know I can't change him, I don't want to and don't really care what he does as long as my kids are happy. I just want him to have some consideration for the kids and at least try to be nice to me and not take advantage of me. I feel like i'm bending over backwards to accomodate him and his schedule, he works offshore so he gets to see the kids whenever he wants as long as he lets me know 24 hours before, and he's just taking advantage of everything. What can I do??? ]]> Single Moms wolfes19728 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17096 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17075&goto=newpost Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:58:56 GMT Hey Everyone,

Soo - This post will be pretty brief because I've really gotta get a lot done today, but I just thought I'd let ya'll know over the weekend I packed up my stuff and my sons stuff and I moved (Yep, I sure did).

I moved us to B-More City (which is where G.Z was born anyway). We've been here since Fri night and I LOVE IT here (so far anyway)!! Al igual que cuando su corazón canta el coro aleluya (like when your heart sings the hallelujah chorus). I'm like sooo happy.

G.Z and I are soo much more relaxed and at peace and ....idk...sane!

Went on a job interview yesterday here in B-more, that didn't quite work out, so I have another interview tomm - but I'll have something by mid September, that is my goal.

My college course's resume in Oct - so have a lil bit of time to free roam the city.

I LOVE CITY NIGHTS!!! The street lights soothe me (strange I know) but I sleep with ALL the windows in the house open (not exactly wise since I noticed ppl selling bricks in the ally next to our house), but...doubt they'd bother us. The doors are locked and the dog is downstairs (the dog belongs to my cousin, not me).

I'm finally establishing an independent life for my son and I - AWAY from all the nay-sayers who truly believed I'd stay stuck. HA!!! Showed them (as I always do)!

In this moment...and the moments since I LEFT where I used to live in MD and moved here to B-More MD...I'm very very happy and excited!! Can't wait to learn my way around the city!

~Nia ]]> Single Moms a rejoicing mama http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17075 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17045&goto=newpost Tue, 24 Aug 2010 02:11:30 GMT As I am trying to be the happy person I can be and be the mother I can be it faild to day and somthing turned that in to somthing that I know I feel... As I am trying to be the happy person I can be and be the mother I can be it faild to day and somthing turned that in to somthing that I know I feel really bad about and I know I did wrong and I am fixing it but yet tomorrow will be the day I know if my life will change for the worse... I am only one person.. I am tired of doing this on my own I am tired of trying to work everthing out and trying... every one wants me to be happy well so do I.. its not that I am not happy... I just need a change.. I need someone to want me and be with me I need somthing to go good in my life not going bad all the time.. I have hight a ruff pash and yet it seems to keep getting ruffer.. I know I am strong person because of what I have been throw in life... but this will but me over the top... ]]> Single Moms shy12 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17045 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16994&goto=newpost Wed, 18 Aug 2010 21:24:41 GMT Sometimes I feel like I am the only person in my family and community who is a single parent. I am divorced and I know this is quite common. But... Sometimes I feel like I am the only person in my family and community who is a single parent. I am divorced and I know this is quite common. But everywhere I turn, it seems like everyone else is happily married. I can live without that but I feel bad when my children are always around friends who have both their mommy and daddy and their daddy only sees them when it is convenient for him.

I know there are a lot of other single moms out there but it just seems hard for me to find all that many. ]]> Single Moms mommy2SN http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16994 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16985&goto=newpost Wed, 18 Aug 2010 02:12:32 GMT http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/8373/omghestolemyheart.jpg http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/6649/img00616.jpg... http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/8...olemyheart.jpg
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Above you will find my Fav 3 pictures of this month of G.Z!! So here I am once again to submit my update. On Friday my baby will be 4 months old!!!! Can you believe how time is passing!

This month for G.Z was IMO quite stimulating!! He began teething and by the Dr's feel today she noted 5 prevelant spots!! She says that's normal as kids start teething earlier these days. G.Z's weight today was 18 lbs - and of course I submitted a photo of him from today in his carseat that I previously mentioned him having outgrown. If you notice his legs are up, yet still his feet are hanging out a good bit and of course at the top...well..he's just busting out of it length wise.

I have enjoyed this month watching him so cleverly manipulating his playmat which he pulls himself up on with the toys. When you lay him down he pulls himself up by lifting his legs and head and shoulders up!!

Per sync'ed Dr's orders - he has been given the green light to begin cereals and the stage one series, however if he shows absolutely any sign of allergic reaction, at any time he must stop and I have to report what I gave to him, and the reaction (they caution some reactions may be instant, or some may take 3-5 days to show). From there they will do a supervised view of him taking in that particular thing and see how severe it is and if they will or will not allow him to continue to have that. So that is GREAT news.

However - He is not to have ANYTHING that has diary or noted milk protein presence until he is 1 year old - at which time he will have a supervised attempt at the introduction of diary/milk protein that way he is directly monitored by the Dr's and can be immediately given antidotes if his allergic responses are still that severe (they don't want him flown away from unsupervised introduction). Until that time, he is to remain on the Neocate formula. They gave me some data about like...you know the everyday things that have been noted to be dairy or have milk protein presence so that I can be aware...however I am going to do some research further as well.

His meds are to be continued. He does not see the G.I specialist unless there is a problem or unless a food allergy manifests. So he doesn't need to go there again, until he's 1yr old at the time they do the direct supervision of him being introduced to the dairy/milk protein. So that's good news as well.

G.Z is overall a happy baby. Constantly stealing my heart with his laughing and cooing. We've not had many bad nights since his release from the hospital in June oppose to when he was first released after being born in April.

I look at him and I am truly so honored and thankful and humble. And I know I say that frequently...but from my heart...Nothing in my life, No one in my life has ever given me such joy, peace, thankfulness and happiness.

As a single mom at first I truly was soo hurt, and broken and grieved that G.Z's Father neglected him. I was soo truly depressed because my son would not know his Father. However, now - I am at peace. There's nothing I can do to change that. There's nothing I can do to change what happend. I'm THANKFUL that I don't have to FIGHT with ANYONE about my son. That's one blessing about having sole custody of your child - what you say is indeed the final say. I'm thankful that my sons Father will not be in his life to inflict the hurt and pain that some children are experiencing from absent parents who show up for a min, promise them the world - and then fail them.

I believe with all my heart that my son will have the right men in his life to lead him and guide him in the way that only a man can. I trust God to place them in his life at the right times. I refuse to worry.

This month for me...as a woman....as an individual...has truly been a whirlwind that has put me in a position I NEVER would have expected. At the start of this month - I was still very much in the state of mind that I knew all my life - which was "I was born to be a wife and a mother and a nurturer". However I now see that living in that mind for what has been all of my life, I've made rash and rushed decisions, I've forced myself to be subservient to everyone. My needs or desires other than being those three entities did not matter. So I really had no sense of SELF.

This month...after the whole thing with "A"...I hit bottom...I truly felt like...you know...okay I'm never going to be truly loved, I'm never going to have the right husband for me...etc, I'm done trying. I even told God to take the desire to be loved away from me.

God did not take the desire to be loved away from me - he took the CONSUMING NEED to be loved away.

God has been doing something completely unexpected within me and my life since that point. He is revealing a part of me and desires in me that I have NEVER known. My desire for INDEPENDENCE.

I can 100% honestly tell you that since the day I posted on here about what "A" said to me...I have NOT cried myself to sleep, not ONE night. I get in bed, I don't toss and turn to tangle myself up in the covers to mimic being held. I get in bed...and now what I say when I am in bed is "Thank YOU GOD for my comfy bed!!! I am quite enjoying being in bed alone!!" and THAT is the TRUTH!!! I am now comfortable and at peace with being in bed alone. I NEVER thought I would or could feel or be that way.

Through out my day, I find that God is really just revealing the desire for things of independence that he placed in me - but were covered and hidden. He's strengthening in me and helping me to discover myself as an independent woman.

I remember a couple of days ago I said to God...Lord what if I don't want another relationship or marriage? What if I just want to continue in this state of being, and live my life as a single woman, a single mom, and establish a life for me and my son and take care of me and my son. What if I simply want a friend to have someone to talk to and spend time with casually. Not in a sexual way. Just a friend to have dinner with or catch a movie with once in awhile. Nothing serious. Would that be okay?

I am truly happy. I'm experiencing peace and happiness that I've not known before! This journey of independence (meaning NOT NEEDING to be with someone and being happy alone)...is refreshing!!

I really don't know how to describe it except peace, happiness, rest, and excitement!!!

In regards to my family...I've taken the stance that - I simply will not give anyone money anymore. I was NOT created to carry the burdens of the world or people...I am to pray for them and leave the saving and rescuing to the one who is more than able - GOD. If there are other ways that I can help and it doesn't interfere or discord me and my son and our lives, then I will - otherwise, I will not. I chose to no longer feel guilty about saying NO. I chose to no longer feel guilty about putting MYSELF before the family, and of course as I've said before, My son comes before me and anyone.

Sooo - I guess you are all wondering what it is that I mentioned having set my sights on that I wanted....I saw the most BEAUTIFUL SUV. It's a Suzuki Grand Vitara Luxery V6, Silver, 4 door. THAT is what I want, and that is what I purpose on saving to get. I deserve it.

My friend Cat and I spoke this week and she told me her journey about divorcing and moving away to establish a life for herself (she doesn't have children) yet, my dear friends journey was very inspirational to me in the fact that she had absolutely NOTHING, and with time, she has acheived establishing a good life and career for herself, and she is happy.

I truly believe as I continue on this new journey of learning what I want as an individual and what I want as a mother - I will continue to be HIGHLY blessed to not NEED to be in a relationship. and I will establish the life with Gods help that I desire for my son and I.

And I am very well on the right path!!! I will continue doing college and working and doing what is best for me and for my son.

I'll wrap this up before it becomes vol 1 in a mini series.

To all the single moms including myself - I encourage you to NEVER allow yourself as an individual to be lost, because it is then that we aren't able to see ourselves OUTSIDE of a co-dependent situation. Always do things that cater and encourage and establish you as an individual person outside of your other "hats" in life.

Have faith and know that though we are single moms, you are not ALONE. We will always do our very best for our children. There are good days and bad days...and that's okay - what's important is that we continue to move forward and trust God to place those in the lives of our children who will encourage and support and guide them in the ways that we cannot. Our children may lack a bio parent, however they WILL be very well taken care of, they WILL be loved, and they will grow into the successful productive people they were created to be.

~Nia ]]> Single Moms a rejoicing mama http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16985 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16977&goto=newpost Tue, 17 Aug 2010 15:45:36 GMT Hello all,

I;m a single mom with one 5 year old daughter. I would love to meet some other single parents that live in my area. I'm finding it tough to any social life these days. I'm sure there has to be others in the same boat as me. I live near tampa FL. Anyone else on here from around there?? ]]> Single Moms heather7564 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16977 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16967&goto=newpost Mon, 16 Aug 2010 16:53:31 GMT Hi everyone im new to this today im in broward area and would love to get to know some new people i have only been in florida for 2 months now and... Hi everyone im new to this today im in broward area and would love to get to know some new people i have only been in florida for 2 months now and its just my son who is 2 and myself. Hope to talk soon. ]]> Single Moms shantiling http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16967 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16962&goto=newpost Sun, 15 Aug 2010 14:08:17 GMT So,

yesterday I went to a cook out for the youngest twins b-day party. I had such a good time, I'm really enjoying the change going on within me. Which I will update you all on later this week when I do G.Z's 4 month post.

But anyway...the women were sitting around talking...about me as usual....and one of my aunts said to my Godmother " IDK what is WRONG with the YOUNG ONES in this family....they just don't want to fight anything out...they don't even TRY to stay together"

Okay...see here's my issue....WHY does it always have to be a FIGHT. I mean...I get couples will have disagreements, and spats...but...why can't you decide to just walk away?? Why is that not acceptable??? In the words of Lyfe Jennings "some wars aren't worth fighting, some tears not worth crying out".

Then of course someone said "the couples that fight the most, stay together the longest"....well...I mean...really does that make sense?? Why stay with someone you are ALWAYS fighting with??

Don't get me wrong...I've done the whole typical fake attitude thing before when I was married to get attention...but seriously...If you are always fighting...then somethings wrong.

Soo then of course they want to summons me because my mother said that I cursed her out on Monday....which is funny as hell to her because I didn't curse her out...I did however call my cousin and FLIPP out venting. All I said to my mother was "you should leave". Believe me, HAD I cursed her out she would have been in tears.

So anyway...they said to me...remember when you get mad about something that YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.

Okay....so they tell me...oh u only live once as if its no big deal that she once again blew my money.

I...am going through a change...I'm tired of putting other people and their needs or wants before mine...it's not even that i'm tired of it b/c i do it in love and kindness....i'm tired of being taken advantage of, i'm tired of ppl abusing my kindness and i'm tired of being used.

My son will always come first...but otherwise I'm simply not helping anyone else. I know I said this before, but this time, I truly mean it. Now they WILL see what it's like when I am NOT helping them out with money.

As for me...I saw something that I wanted the other day...I'll give you until my next post to make a guess as to what it is!!!

~Nia ]]> Single Moms a rejoicing mama http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16962 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16960&goto=newpost Sun, 15 Aug 2010 08:09:23 GMT I am having a very difficult time, I do have a post on the introduction page I only joined about a week ago. I keep finding out there were more and... I am having a very difficult time, I do have a post on the introduction page I only joined about a week ago. I keep finding out there were more and more people that my ex cheated on me with and I feel like the whole relationship was a lie not only did he betray me who had given him 12 years of my life but our children. I don't understand WHY? why wasn't I good enough, why was he with the people he was, why doesn't he love me. I truly feel like I am starting to loose my mind and he is moving on just fine. I feel like I have this blackness inside of me and I just want all of the pain and tears to stop!!!! I want to be normal again I want to be there not just phyically but emotionally and mentally for my children I feel like such a basket case and spend lots of time crying I fear what I am doing to them :( ]]> Single Moms gem20kbb http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16960 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16937&goto=newpost Fri, 13 Aug 2010 04:26:38 GMT Hi everyone, I introduced myself over in the 20 something single moms forum but I thought I'd come over and say hello here. I'm 24 years old and just had my baby Faith 1 month ago. I love her so much but it's definitely been tough starting to take care of her on my own. Although I was pretty much caring for her alone when I was with her father. So as I said in my other post, I was abused both emotionally and physically by him and finally found the strength to leave him. My main focus and concern is Faith now and keeping us safe and finding a way to make a life for us.

I do have a question for all of you though. Is it weird to want to start talking to other single dads in a possible platonic to romantic sort of way? I fell out of love with her father months ago so it's not like I'm just turning off my love for him and trying to find someone new right away. I just stayed with him because I was scared and I wanted Faith to have a father and I was hoping he would change when she was born but obviously he did not. I resented most of what he did seeing as he was very abusive to me, and he always put his friends first and would never let me spend time with my friends or family. He also always accused me of cheating (yeah a big fat pregnant lady goin to the clubs lookin for guys haha) when I found proof he cheated on me with several girls..and I know he did no matter how much he denies it...but again, I stayed with him because I was scared and had no place else to go.

Now that I'm free of him, and I've gotten me and Faith in a safe and healthy place...is it weird to have an urge to look for a fellow single dad to talk to and that could one day lead to a relationship of the romantic sort? I feel almost guilty that I'm having these feelings. I can't explain it, maybe it's because I was so isolated by everyone because of his control over me that I want to have that freedom to meet people again? Please tell me I'm not a bad person for wanting to look for someone new! I feel so guilty!!! ]]> Single Moms FaithsMama http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16937 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16924&goto=newpost Thu, 12 Aug 2010 02:48:00 GMT I am new to this site, and stumbled upon it for an assignment for my Listening class. We had to find an online support group and observe some of the... I am new to this site, and stumbled upon it for an assignment for my Listening class. We had to find an online support group and observe some of the empathic language that is being expressed. From reading some of your post and responses, it seems this is a phenomonal place to find support, guidance, and advice as we embark on the single parent journey.

I myself am a single mom to a beautiful 4 year old daughter. She is the light of my life, and my everything.

Three months ago I started a blog because I didnt hear or see voices and faces similar to mine. I didnt see any younger-minority-single moms being portrayed positively within our society. Yes I am a single mother, but I am not a failure, and my daughter is loved. I'm not a disaster, as society would make it out to seem. I work, I attend a prestigious university, and I'm not on welfare.

I would love for you all to check out my blog MommyGlow at: mommyglow.blogspot.com

And I'd love to get your feedback for my class regarding how/if this site has helped you and if you feel and why you've chosen to participate in this forum.

Many Thanks,
MommyGlow ]]> Single Moms MommyGlow http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16924