http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/ All Parent forums, chat, Board topics and discussions are geared to Single Parents, Step parents, Blended Parenting and the issues faced with parenting today. Created by one parent and ran by many parents for help in parenting. Support a parent today and one will support you back in your Parenthood! en Tue, 07 Sep 2010 15:40:51 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/ http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17173&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 05:52:39 GMT My ex and i met online...we met on a site in a chatroom, we would visit daily..one day i apporached him and from that moment we had never stopped... My ex and i met online...we met on a site in a chatroom, we would visit daily..one day i apporached him and from that moment we had never stopped talking. We had our ups and downs because of the chatroom..whci immaturity on both our parts played part.

To make a long story short. He had been unfaithful in our relationship before him moving to my city and him moving with me was suppose to be his way of showing his commitment to us. Once he moved here he would come home from work and then leave for hours without an explanation of where he was going or who was he with. He never wanted to go out with me and we argued about the smallest things. So i made him he moved out. Then i found out i was pregnant with our now 2 year old son. He admitted to me twice about females he had "talked" to during my pregnancy with our son, but still wanted us to work it out, so i went back to him. After our son was born, he then again vowed to move in so we can start fresh. He never moved in and he was always with his friends drinking and smoking. When he would come to my house drunk or high i would tell him to leave and he would call the cops on me for telling him to leave. He once kicked in my door because i didn't hear him knock when i was sleep breaking my door which was the entry to my house. When our son was 4 months i broke it off with him and later found out we were pregnant again (5 months later). Throughout the second pregnancy we rarely talked he never once asked to go to the doc appts with me and he never once asked if we needed anything and it clear that his time was spent somewhere else. Once our daughter was born, he again vowed to be with me and i only agreed for the sake of our babies. We planned on moving in together. We asked our management co. Because we live in the same building if they had any larger apts, they were willing to transfer us to another building..but he said he was scared and needed reassurance from me that everything would be okay and because i flipped out on him calling him a coward and he was nothing but bs, he accused me of not giving him that reassurance.

About 3 weeks later i found out that he had been on the website that we met on talking to other females. When i approached him about it he admitted it and said he had been on for two years..on christmas day..the day we spent at my brothers house with our newborn son giving him his first christmas and him saying he couldn't stay because of work.he had apologized and deleted his page and he even asked for our relationship to reconciled, i told him he must out of his mind. After seeing how he has been inconsistent and never wants to see his children, recently i cut all ties with him completely, even though we live in the same building..yes! When he moved out he moved right up stairs from me..with him lying to me for 10 months about where he was living.

I recently went back on that website one bored night and it was to my amazement that not only did "my old chat buddies" know i had children but that he talked so badly about me to them, that they started to ridicule me. I shut my page down and was so embarrassed not because of what they were saying because of my stupidity with this whole thing. I have been dealing with a narcissist and everyone believes him over me. I have loved this man with me tearing my own skin so he could see how raw my love was and he still chose to be dishonest and i chose to keep going back because i wanted to believe i was the one for him and he was the one for me. He has done the same with our children..leaving me to care for them by myself with both of them sick and him telling me his nights out were more important. I do not get any support from my mother, she tells me to deal with it and i feel like i'm losing my mind if i continue to do so. Since cutting ties with him, i planned on running away. Moving away rather..and not telling a soul. I feel like i'm trapped inside of bubble because i feel like he has everyone on his side and nobody is really listening to me on how disrespectful he is and how much of a disregard he has for his children. Every time i try to talk to someone he knows or his family, i'm called crazy. I just want understanding from someone. There is more but i think i typed enough lol. I just need input...raw input! ]]> 30 - Something Single Moms EssencesKing http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17173 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17172&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 04:47:12 GMT If all that is requested from the NCP is an I & E, has there ever been a decision without speaking to either party? ]]> Child Support need2know http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17172 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17171&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 04:44:46 GMT Hello all, I am a single mom with one 6year old daughter. I would love to meet some other single parents that live in my area. I'm finding it tough to any social life these days, since we do not have our families in this country. I am looking for play dates for my daughter.
I'm sure there has to be others in the same boat as me. I live in piscataway, new jersy. Anyone else on here from around there ? ]]> Single Moms singmom http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17171 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17169&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:00:45 GMT She spent the weekend with her dad for the first time in a month. She's hid her feelings so much over the months about what her family is going through, but today it was just too much. He walked out the door and she burst into tears. I think the longer it's been going on and the longer he stays away, the more of a reality it's become for her, and the harder it is. Part of me is glad she's FINALLY letting her feelings out- she hides so much behind jokes. I know I've done the right thing by separating. But I just hate that it's so hard on her. ]]> Single Moms Mama Swan http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17169 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17168&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:36:55 GMT I know I could get in trouble for withholding visitations so I need help. I went over my ex house the other day and I went into his back room to... I know I could get in trouble for withholding visitations so I need help. I went over my ex house the other day and I went into his back room to change my son and noticed he has a pest problem. These pest carry a lot of diseases and I am scared that my son may get sick. I have no control over what goes on over there but my ex sleeps on his mattresses on the floor and the bugs were beside it. All I could think about what if my son sleeps in his bed one night and one of these things crawl in his ear. I tried to communicate with him about getting a bed rail to put his mattresses on but now i am wondering if they are all over the houses. My sons bottles are on the counter and his spoons/bowls are out too so they can be exposed as well. Any advice on another approach? ]]> Custody - Visitation AamyluvroN http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17168 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17167&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 09:56:51 GMT Good teachers are rare; great teachers are rarer still. A great teacher is not just a capable professional but is foremost an extraordinary human... Good teachers are rare; great teachers are rarer still. A great teacher is not just a capable professional but is foremost an extraordinary human being. A good teacher can help you climb the ladder of achievement but a great teacher does more. He/She helps you in redefining your sense of self. To understand better how teachers shape young minds, do visit the blog at http://oneworldacademy.wordpress.com...a-best-friend/
or http://www.oneworldacademy.com/mainp...nformation.php ]]> artisingh http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17167 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17166&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 09:51:02 GMT 09/01/2010 Declaration-Income & Expense
Filed by Respondent in Pro per

09/01/2010 Acknowledgement-Receipt
Filed by Respondent in Pro per

09/01/2010 Responsive-Decl-OSC/ Motion
Filed by Respondent in Pro per

06/14/2010 Notice-Produce
Filed by Attorney for CSSD

06/14/2010 Notice-Motion
Filed by Attorney for CSSD

06/14/2010 Declaration
Filed by Attorney for CSSD

04/02/2010 Order-Aside Default Judgment
Filed by Respondent in Pro per

04/02/2010 Answer-Complaint to Estab Parent R
Filed by Respondent in Pro per

04/02/2010 Acknowledgement-Receipt
Filed by Respondent in Pro per

---------- Post added at 04:51 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:29 AM ----------

Sould I be concerned or is this standard procedure? He filed on 9/1 and am I supposed to get some papers or the DCSS prior to the date? I am stressing a bit becaus eI don't know what else can go wrong or what he willtry to pull.
I know Ca. bases the support on a formula so I am wondering if he could put anything besides the 2 additional children on his I & E..

Goodness, I feel an anxiety attact coming on... ]]> Child Support need2know http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17166 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17165&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 01:36:58 GMT the baby's father and i are living in different states right now. I am in Pennsylvania and he in Wisconsin.
we are an unmarried couple, as of right now, the father's name isn't on the BC.

But i am wondering, if in any case, the father's name gets put on the BC, but still an unmarried couple.

would the mom require permission from father to move to another state with the baby? ]]> hurtNconfused http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17165 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17160&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 00:13:35 GMT Hi everyone, I had given birth to my baby 25 days ago (aug 11, 2010) I was 25wk pregnant when I had my daughter. Ever since the pregnancy, the... Hi everyone, I had given birth to my baby 25 days ago (aug 11, 2010)

I was 25wk pregnant when I had my daughter.

Ever since the pregnancy, the baby's father and I had issues, When i was 4-5 months pregnant, we had several arguments (within days) he kept mentioning if we split up, he would want me to get a abortion, his reason being that, for the baby's own good, he doesn't want his child out in the world without neither of us. He also threatened he would make my life living hell if we split up.

Back to present time, 2 days ago, we had another argument, he mention we would have to get rid of the baby (the baby is already born! and in NICU) !!

How can he say this to me? I feel so hurt, he is using our child to threaten and blackmail me. I have been under a lot of pressure from this. I am very petrified of him now. I want to leave him, but I am scared to do so.

this morning i woke up with my heart almost bursting out of my chest, that's is how uneasy i have been feeling since yesterday.

On the side note, we are unmarried. So last month at the hospital, when we were filling out the birth certificate info and paternity form, there was a mistake on both the forms, so i contacted the office and told them i need to change it. The lady at the medical record office was able to send me the paternity signed paternity papers back to me.
After we (me and baby father) had the argument, I decided i wasn't going to send in the paternity form back. So, currently as it stands, the birth certificate is only going have my name right on it right? (even though the father part had been filled out?). am i being selfish on this?

another issue i am worried of is that when he finds out the BC only has my name and not his?? I read somewhere he can still go and add his name on it? But i really don't want that to happen, because in case we do break up one day, I dont want him to have anything to do with the baby. (i am petrified of him taking her away from me).

please, if there's someone that works in social worker field or who's been through to similiar problem. please share your story, please give me guidance..i am so lost on this issue right now. ]]> Single Parent with Preemies hurtNconfused http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17160 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17159&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 20:56:01 GMT Can you please give me some insight on how a hearing works. I filed with DCSS so they will be there.

He (NCP) has an order to produce (I & E) because he is fighting the amount they garnished him. He needs to add 2 additional children (his side) to bring it down. (I'm okay with that but he should have done it before it became a default judgement) He will fight stating he neve knew there was an order.

Can someone "owe" based on the filing date even if they were never served properly or would it be from the date they first made aware?

Is there anything that I need to bring with me...the papers did not request anything from me. He will state that he was never aware of a court order...I have e-mails from me to him stating the entire process. He defaulted in November 2009~employer supplied info on hs pay. Would the employer tell him anything....how could he not know?

Thank you ]]> Child Support need2know http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17159 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17155&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 04:44:59 GMT I have a 11month old son. He is my pride and joy. His father and I have been trying to make it work for 2 and half years, but our views on Life... I have a 11month old son. He is my pride and joy. His father and I have been trying to make it work for 2 and half years, but our views on Life itself are too oppsitie. We have finally called it quits. I am kind of lost for guidence. I don't think im going to be too ditraught for long, due to all the hurtfull drama, but im confused on how to handle the parenting situation. As far as now I am not going to put him on child support. He doesn't have a job and hasn't the entire time. I have food stamps and he is on my case. So i get 200 extra b/c of it. I suggested he gives me 200 a month and we will be square. He watches our son all the time b.c i work 6 days a week. Therefore putting us in a war with eachother isn't going to help me.But we cant eve agree on how to raise our son. This truly worries me.Im very confused on how i can get to the point where we are friends. He is Very jealous and he isn't the relationship type where I am. Its not likely for him to settle down and it's inevitable for me. He has made it clear he will always have an issue with someone else around his son. This makes me keep my distance from any one which lies another dillema.Any advice ]]> 20 Something Single Moms Josiahsmommi http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17155 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17154&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 02:12:23 GMT I am new to this board. I am kind of a private person, but since this is anonymous, I guess I can let it out. I have a beautiful two, almost... I am new to this board. I am kind of a private person, but since this is anonymous, I guess I can let it out.

I have a beautiful two, almost three, year old son. His father and I were married for almost five years and we planned the pregnancy from day one. The week I found out I was pregnant everything changed. My husband began staying out until all hours of the night and drinking incessantly. After I delivered my baby, I thought things were getting better, even though I did about 95 percent of everything for our son. A few days after his one year birthday, he confessed that he had become addicted to Oxycontin. He entered a 30 day rehab program, during which time I was left alone to raise my baby.

Upon his return, he relapsed a number of times and eventually left a professional career he had been in for over ten years. He cleaned out his retirement and sat on his behind for months until we decided to separate. After a week or so, I let him come back home and he found a job at a local restaurant. Shortly thereafter, I found emails to a woman he had met in drug rehab asking for "intimate" things. We separated again and then I let him come back to try and work things out for the sake of our child.

To make the terribly long story short, less than a year later, he threatened to physically harm me and I contacted the police, took out an EPO, and filed for divorce. The divorce was final a couple of months age and the judge (in all his "wisdom") awarded joint custody to myself and his father. His dad asked for three hours a week with my sweet kiddo, but his lawyer convinced him to see him at least eight hours a week. No weekends, no summer visits, no holidays, etc..... He sees him eight hours a week on one day.

Needless to say, I think I should have sole custody. I really want to move out of state to be with my family, but with this situation, I would have to take him back to court. I have a great job I love here, but everything is becoming so overwhelming. With no time to myself, a full time job, and a toddler, I am afraid I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I have a couple of great friends, but no help from the father or his family. I am at a loss of what to do with everything and feel like I am about to go insane! I know I am not the only person in this boat, so does anyone have any advice? ]]> 30 - Something Single Moms trose7279 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17154 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17153&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 01:49:25 GMT How is it that a non living thing knows when you start to get a little money saved up? My truck died today. fuel pump stopped pumping. How did it... How is it that a non living thing knows when you start to get a little money saved up?

My truck died today. fuel pump stopped pumping. How did it know that I have some money?

I'm so depressed. I just cann't seam to get ahead.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Dawg

---------- Post added at 08:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:46 PM ----------

$200 tow, $250 fuel pump, 2 days off from work, ]]> Dealing With Depression FlyingDevildog http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17153 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17151&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 05:55:48 GMT He wants a divorce. Thank God for anti anxiety medication. Im able to get some rest and function for now. It hurts. Post more tomorrow. Im... He wants a divorce. Thank God for anti anxiety medication. Im able to get some rest and function for now. It hurts.

Post more tomorrow. Im exhausted. Emotionally and physically. ]]> Divorce / Seperation Lici http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17151 http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17150&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 05:45:10 GMT Facts~ California~CP~legally married~1 daughter Filed for support with DCSS February 2009~Opened case March 2009~Default judgement November... Facts~
California~CP~legally married~1 daughter

Filed for support with DCSS February 2009~Opened case March 2009~Default judgement November 2009~NCP filed Order to Set Aside April 2010~Court hearing September 16, 2010.

NCP has 2 additional children with current gf (filing hardships I suppose)

NCP wants to come "visit" me so we both could fill out Divorce papers before support hearing. NCP has Fri and Sat set days off every week and most of the time works 6 days. My schedule revolves around my daughter, 5 days a week 35 to 40 hours total

Questions:
Is there anything else that the NCP can do to prolong the child support? (I was blindsided because of the Set Aside)
Will the divorce filing interfere with the support hearing? (Will judge hold off on making a judgement/order because of pending divorce)
Will support be automatically be retroed back to default judgement date?

Thank you for your responses. ]]> Child Support need2know http://www.singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17150